Doko.

Sometimes I cry. Actually, I cry very often. I don't know why, but I love crying... 'Cry as long as it makes you feel better', everytime I feel like crying I remember that sentence inside my mind, it makes me feel better.

I used to be shy and sensitive when I was a child. I guess I haven't changed that much after all. I'm still the same person, now I'm taller... probably stronger... happier? I guess everything looks better when we feel nostalgic. But everything falls apart when something's wrong. I'm never strong enough... I'm still the same childish fool who claims to be perfectly able to criticize everything he wants. But that's just a disguise, since there's nothing but a fearful person without any idea beyond that image.

Throughout these years I've gone through lots of different experiences. As everybody, I've had my ups and downs... But it seems that I haven't learned the lesson, despite my failures. I've spent hours and hours trying to find the reason why everything falls out of place everytime something goes wrong. I cannot understand why I am not able to keep smiling and moving along in those cases, and instead I prefer to cry and moarn. People think I do it on purpose, actually I'm ashamed of my personality...

Some friends of mine have told me I mustn't cry because of those who criticize me, but I cannot ignore them. That's another of those features of mine that I'd like to change. Anyway, I've spent a decade trying to get over it, and still I haven't found what's wrong with me... maybe I'm just wasting my time. People always say I am selfish, a person who loves laughing at other people, a person who has no idea about anything. I think they're not that wrong... Truth hurts, doesn't it?

I don't want to become an important person, I never thought of fighting for the number 1 spot. People think I am competitive, when I am just trying my best. But still, even trying my best, there's always an objective left unfulfilled... the objective of becoming stronger and wiser. The power of facing whatever situation. I'm still awful at standing up straight. I wonder how long it'll take me to end with this situation.

'Cry as long as it makes you feel better'.